Trust Wars

"Even when communities are functioning well in terms of their own inner dynamics, there is no guarantee that the results will be healthy." - Simply Christian, Page 32.

Reid and I were just sharing at lunch today how as Christ's disciples we should expect Christ to enter our micro-communities at church, Sonshine, and small groups and interject the same question he uttered to his disciples in John 6:63 "Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, "does this offend you?"

Christ offends my communities by continuing to pushing me to (John 6) a position of body broken and blood shed. He offends me into a healthy community by humiliating me into humility through His model (the cross) and His appeal to me to follow His example (the cross) in relating.

Like Abraham, God delicately and insidiously haunts me with His promise to lead me to Mt. Moriah. The stench, the terror, the gore of slaughter and sacrifice weighs heavy on my heart. With chest heaving I'm pushed.

He nudges me to the threshold of mental insanity and moral chaos.

The blade is in my pocket. I'm fidgeting the steel. My son is helplessly sprawled before. I'm desperate. Defeated. I've surrendered all knowlege of the good. No moral code remains. I've abandoned all knowledge of good and all knowledge of evil. Self-trust is annihilated. God kill me. Crucify me. Do anything.

God's trust, redemption, body broken, and blood shed explodes from the cross (and from the Father's own heaving heart) through space and time and fills my despondent heart with life, light, truth, and grace.

For a moment, I've trusted THE GOOD over my knowledge of the good. For a moment, I've been offended into gospel.

Phew. I'm tired. I feel dead. Recreate me Jesus. Please put your Faith in my heart. I can't do this. Live in me. By grace give me the power, wisdom, and compulsion to trust you always.