Oh Boy

Proverbs 8:8 - "All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse."

Proverbs 8:13 - "To fear the Lord is to hate evil."

Proverbs 8:22 - 23: "The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works., before his deeds of old;"

Ezra 9:13 - "God, you have punished us less than our sins have deserved."

Psalm 131:1 - "My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me."

Luke 21:4 - "All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

John 6:15 - "Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself."

John 5:3-5: "here a great number of disabled people used to lie. . . .One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years."

John 4:5 - "So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph."

Luke 13:2 - "Do you think tha these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans becaue they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent you also will perish. Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them - do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no!"

John 9:2 - His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

My primary conviction/reaction to Chapter 1 is as follows: "Why did the rich get richer?" - This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in their life. "Why did the poor get poorer?" This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in their lives." Why were masters put over slaves? "This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in their lives." Why did the sunami annihilate so many? "This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in their lives." Why does my family have embarrasing, painful biographies that I carry with me each day? "This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in their lives."

Romans - Help me out here.

First, the author of Romans and New Testatment is .... the world's chief sinner, the number one son of the devil - Paul. Ironicaly by making this distinction and playing the justice/ranking game I've inadvertently appointed myself as cheif sinner. For to judge Paul is to put my knowledge of good/evil ahead of calvary (which by the way is the damning power of separation in the garden)

Just by acknowledging the distinction that Paul is sinner extraorindaire reveals to me that I don't understand the cross, the gospel, and grace.

I Timothy 1:15 - 16 - Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst, but for that reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

Romans 8:20 - "But the creation was subjected to futility not by its own choice but by the will of the one who subjected it in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into its glorious freedom" --

God wills decay. God wills bondage. God wills futility. Why???? HOPE. Hope for what? - Hope that in this creation's geo-political, socio-economic, meteorlogical, and natural disaster mayhem, we will collapse in wonder and awe at the beauty, light, life, truth, wonder, joy, and ecstacy of being completely destroyed and remade as we pass through the eternal judgment of fire, wine, covenant wedding night passion of the cross. As Crowder may or may not say, when you're being ripped through a hurricane of mercy, judgment, absolute purity, and perfect love is it really going to matter whether you're the boss or the apprentice? the slave or the master?

Romans 11:32 - "For God has consigned all men to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all. Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths byeond tracing out!" - I, by behavioral default, am a justice monster. Justice has become an idol. Justice has become a murderous weapon that I've used to shame others and bolster my own self-perception. Justice has become a membership card for delineating between first and second class Christians. They tried to give Jesus a membership card to power and influence and he ran away. That poor invalid at the pool had to wander for 38 years (just like Israel) before Jesus demanded that he be healed.

My thirst for justice is my handicap. I'm a spiritual invalid. I abandon Christ's patient working of the gospel and want Him to legislate the hell out of the earth.

God needs to throw me in a well, like He threw Joseph in a well, and have me walk into a room of injust, pathetic, mean-spirited, jealous, hateful people who had tried to kill me and have me bend over backwards to bring life, joy, love, good food, drink, and forgiveness to their hearts.

God needs to return to that Joseph well centuries later and bring from that well living water that saturate to His glory the souls of tired, suffering, broken people.

The unjust, despicable, genocidal maniacs of this world have had very little room in my gospel vision. Heck I hit instant anger when the postal worker can't pick up the pace. Imagine that I'm going postal on a postal worker!?!?

This is a very, very big problem that reveals that my heart is more prone to self-worship and humanistic ideaology than surrendering to the gentle, patient, kind (so, so, so so so so kind), faithful love of Christ.

Sorry Jesus. Any good choice is your choice. Anything else is lifeless manipulation. Help me to see. Open the eyes of my heart. Give me the courage to see you more clearly and to carry your heart within me to a thirsty world.

I love you and humbly admit that I'm much more likely to be nailed to a cross if I'm not President.