This Blog

I love this blog. God has used the words spoken on this blog to change my heart. I am so thankful and I want to share how this looked for me (This as been on my heart for awhile, and as I reflect and write I know I am going to get totally pumped - and I hope you do too).

When Reid sent me the discipleship schedule, I was stoked but also nervous because with Religious Studies, College Life preaching class, College Life growth groups material, this study, and my own experiences and devotional time, I thought I would experience a content overload. Because of this I shied away from developing and contemplating this study beyond reading/listening followed by a short conversation with a roommate or CL staff about it or maybe a journal with some quotes.

Almost halfway through the quarter, I learned something new and obvious. I learned about the connectedness of things through this essay I read in an education class. This essay described how education should focus on the commonalities of humanity; I thought this guy was a genius! He basically said (from his Christian background) that the educated are those who start as early as possible to see the connectedness of life; which gives meaning. BOOM! BIG Question: What the heck was I studying within these formats (RST, CL preaching and growth groups...etc) that would have led me to believe it was not connected? If I were focusing on Christ, I get the feeling I would have seen connectedness. Bazinga.

Before I noticed this, I was so frustrated with feeling like I was unable to learn or remember anything. I was reading all these wonderful books but could barely share anything. I was focusing on everything but the one who all of everything is about. Jesus! The Lion, the Lamb, God with us! I remember asking Reid before the study: What is the focus of this discipleship program? I don't even remember the answer (if I got one), but over the past few months it's so clear: Jesus. And THIS is why I love the blog! Jesus. We're talking about Jesus (not practice, not playoffs).

Reading this blog encouraged my relationship with Jesus. I had spent so much time wondering: what is this study all about? Maybe faith? Maybe mission? Worship? ...man I'm starting to lose words here, but I hope my point is coming out. I, Zach Evans, am addicted to figuring out what is wrong with myself and focusing on fixing it - a form of pride. I focus on my inadequacies and want them gone because I want to be pure. Jesus is showing me that when I do this, I don't focus on him, I think I even 'create a chasm' of shame and guilt if I don't notice my brokenness in the context of his fullness. When I don't focus on him, nothing is connected and I am lost in the overabundance of content and not the fullness I receive from Abba for me, Jesus with me, and Spirit in me. Therefore, through this study and blog, I have fallen flat on my face in worship of the Triune God. Each time anyone shares I become more in awe and more in love with our God. Each day I blog because I cannot contain, nor do I want to forget, that Jesus has me, more than he ever has before. There is always a song that perfectly demonstrates it:

I am nothing, yet you bid me,
Come to you Lord Almighty,
As I come, I am overwhelmed with you,

Humbly now I'll break this silence,
As I'm weeping in your presence,
I'm so wretched overwhelmed with You

Your blood of redemption is covering my shame,
Your voice that shakes the mountains is whispering my name,
As you catch my tears, with your nail scarred hands,

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed with you
I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed with you

He is freeing me from being overwhelmed by my wretchedness, which is paralyzing and a mega foothold, and He is showing me that I should be overwhelmed with Him. FREEDOM!!!!