To those of you who don't even know I've been posting on this blog, thank you, because the blog entries you wrote down helped me out a lot. To those who've been keeping up with me and posting their commentary on what I've written, thank you, it was great having the community to reflect my thoughts and offer input. And thank you, Mike, Alyssa, Pearl, and Zach, for those occasions where we could just sit down and talk about what I learned and fill out the empty spaces in my head. God's blessed me through you all.
I love how the last chapter of Simply Christian brings much of what God has revealed to me through this study full circle! The Cross was where God's wrath was appeased and death was beaten, so let's live in the victory! We must renounce and rediscover, and need God's help to do even that, asked for every day with those beautiful 57 Words. Healing, restorative justice was set as the standard by the Prodigal Father. Let us let go of our anger before the sun sets, and fulfill ourselves not on lust, because the laws the Father has set down will enhance and protect the freedom he has given us in his blood.
So much good truth! And the best part is that heaven is overlapping earth and keeps touching through, aching to be one. It'll be the most awesome thing ever when they finally meet---God makes only beautiful things in the first place, so I can't wait to see everything in restored AND resurrected form. I think I took the title of this blog for granted before---now the full implications of those four words hit hard.
This spring break, I've made a point of going to see how some of my old high school friends have been doing---and through them, how most of my other graduating class of '07 members are doing. Most of what I've heard is not good---broken dreams, lost opportunities, abandoning all thoughts of goals or things to live for: it all just breaks my heart so much. So many are in need; so many that need to know true love! I can never forget what NT says about the advent of the Kingdom: "If Jesus has been raised, that means that God's new world, God's kingdom, has indeed arrived; and that means we have a job to do."
A job? If there's one truth I'm glad I've realized in the span of the last three months, it's that God has graciously given us the opportunity of holding the best job ever. The Holy Spirit of God brings heaven and earth together within us so that we now become outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual grace - and the means of God's grace for others. That is to say, sacramental vessels of God's love to the people of the world. Living for the Kingdom means not holing myself up in the castle, but appearing on the front lines so that Jesus the Head can show himself in all his glory through wiggling Ben the Pinky Finger.
This pinky finger has heard the neurons firing...which means all I can do is think and act like I have. And the best part of it is, I'll probably mess up often, and ignore or distort the call...or hit a wall of isolation and persecution. But in times like the former, God's power is made perfect in my imperfect pool of weakness; in times like the latter, God will give me the strength to go on, his glory being reflected, as being beaten on in tough situations is where we represent Christ best.
Forgive me for plugging in one last song, but it's all I can think of after these recollections of this study.
Gungor---People of God
We could have tongues of angels
We could move mountains with our faith
We could give everything away
But if we don't have love
We're left with nothing
We could see blind eyes opened
Know all the mysteries of our faith
We could sing all the highest praise
But if we don't have love
We're left with nothing
People of God rise up
Rise up and shine God's love
We are the light of the world
Of the world, oh
We are the light of the world
Of the world, oh
Love is what holds it all together
Love never fails, it never dies
There is no deeper truth
We know God is love, our God is love
People of God rise up
Rise up and shine God's love
We are the light of the world
Of the world, oh
We are the light of the world
Of the world, oh
Tear down the walls that divide us
Let love rebuild and unite us
All we need is, all we need is love
People of God rise up
Rise up and shine God's love
We are the light of the world
Of the world
People of God rise up
Rise up and shine God's love
We are the light of the world
Of the world
We are the light of the world
Of the world
We are the light of the world
"Come Lord Jesus Come...as the sun rises, let me miss not one opportunity you put before me, till the time you fully shine over all the Earth."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Last Days, Part 1: Fine Arts
So, the last couple of chapters of Simply Christian generated a couple of distinct thoughts in my head, so I'm splitting them up into different parts.
I've always wondered about what it meant to use our artistic gifts to glorify our Father. A lot of people think that this action is restricted to a certain portion of the church's population: those who can sing or play an instrument in the worship band. Not true, if we all remember that worship comes in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, due to what the core of worship is: acknowledging and understanding how God the creator and rescuer is worthy to be praised. Still, something about music, if my heart is in the right place, helps me envelop myself in worshiping him, giving him all of me.
So what is about the art of music that translates well into worship, then? What is art in the context of Jesus?
NT says:
The arts are not the pretty but irrelevant bits around the border of reality. They are highways into the center of a reality which cannot be glimpsed, let alone grasped, any other way. The present world is good, but broken and in any case incomplete; art of all kinds enables us to understand that paradox in its many dimensions.
I've always wondered about what it meant to use our artistic gifts to glorify our Father. A lot of people think that this action is restricted to a certain portion of the church's population: those who can sing or play an instrument in the worship band. Not true, if we all remember that worship comes in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, due to what the core of worship is: acknowledging and understanding how God the creator and rescuer is worthy to be praised. Still, something about music, if my heart is in the right place, helps me envelop myself in worshiping him, giving him all of me.
So what is about the art of music that translates well into worship, then? What is art in the context of Jesus?
NT says:
The arts are not the pretty but irrelevant bits around the border of reality. They are highways into the center of a reality which cannot be glimpsed, let alone grasped, any other way. The present world is good, but broken and in any case incomplete; art of all kinds enables us to understand that paradox in its many dimensions.
Sounds like art is God creating places, through our creativity, where Jesus pierces through the veil and we see the reality of the coming kingdom.
A pastor once said to me that God did not give us all different talents and expect only some to make an art out of it: he enables us to all be artists. I guess this is what he was talking about: God enables us all to live in and share the good news in a beautiful, beautiful way, in a symphony of his power and grace. Where the beauty of the Truth shines through, there is a work of art.
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
So compose your pieces, paint your landscapes, write your essays, design those clothes, and sing, sing, sing those songs, remembering what the core of artistic talent is:
We’re not here to decorate the Truth, we’re here to proclaim it.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
An earlier Post
We really need to internalize this quote - "when we allow anything to come between us and the living God, our hearts begin to crave anything that promises satisfaction.....we become souls running on empty desiring anything and everything that will fulfill the hole in the soul."
I was reminded of this and thought it was a good reminder for all of us. We can even fill that Hole with good things like serving and giving. However that will not fill the whole! We can run on it for a little while but eventually our soul will return to empty. Only the Living God and His presence can fill the whole. The Lamb is the lamp! The Lamb is the lamp that sheds light in that new city. The Lamb, The Lamb, It all about the Lamb! (Revelation 21-22)
I was reminded of this and thought it was a good reminder for all of us. We can even fill that Hole with good things like serving and giving. However that will not fill the whole! We can run on it for a little while but eventually our soul will return to empty. Only the Living God and His presence can fill the whole. The Lamb is the lamp! The Lamb is the lamp that sheds light in that new city. The Lamb, The Lamb, It all about the Lamb! (Revelation 21-22)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Day 52-53: Starving To Death
When Zach first suggested to me that I do this Discipleship program, he gave me "A Soul Running On Empty" as a sampler, mostly because that's how I felt at the time, and sought a change of heart. After listening to it once more this morning, three months later, I know I have some revamping to do.
As Zach himself wrote in an earlier entry, the focus of this study is supposed to be Jesus, and nobody else. I have learned so much about who he is, what he's done, and will come to do. It used to do nothing but get me stoked; yet in these last two weeks of this school quarter, I just haven't been able to get excited about him, or anything else for that matter. This sermon clued me in on the probable cause.
I've only been "focusing" on Jesus in theory lately: really, I've just been absorbing words about him, and hoping awareness would take care of the rest, while I ignorantly used up my hoarded energy on other things. I thought God would just magically zap me with energy through some means if I ever felt short. This hasn't been the case with just this program; it's been with other sermons, growth groups, and even reading the Word. NT really hit it on the nose:
“The Bible is there to enable God’s people to be equipped to do God’s work in God’s world, not to give them an excuse to sit back smugly, knowing they possess all God’s truth.”
I've been like a runner who decides run a race, reads a book/watches a training video about how to prepare for one, but then doesn't bother to do the healthy amount of eating and exercising needed. There's been atrophy in my soul, and I'm finding it hard to turn focus my energy on what I need to do right now, which is having a deep desire for Him. It's a simple problem---my roots have withered and are in want of renewal. Watching my friends play with Jumbling Tower blocks (a Safeway version of Jenga, if you will) the other night, I was reminded that anything that is built up is doomed to crash if the foundation is thinned out or disappears all together. And when the spiritual structure collapses, everything else collapses: this past week alone, a few things I held very dearly crumbled in my hands.
I need to go back and make sure my Jumbling Tower is built on THE Rock.
Because what is a relationship without the passion? What worth is the work you put into it if doesn't ignite the fire between the two?
Maybe I need to stop doing "work" and go back to the basics I keep skipping over. Like being aware of the gift that is grace and what it does for me. That sometimes I just need to be still and let him work, whether I'm at a peak or at a valley. Allowing the Bible to do what it does: give "energy for the task to which God is calling his people!" That with 57 simple words, I can ask for all that is really needed, and he'll provide it through himself. Knowing the key to changing my heart, and dispelling all other desires from it, is not in books, sermons, or good practices: it is God and God alone who can change it. That he loves me and wants me with him---that's what it's all about. A simple formula:
G0d=The Greatest Love=All I Need
Abba, I've messed up, I've filled myself with nothing. Can you help me desire you and leave room for nothing else, so I can genuinely pursue you once again? Please, come glorify yourself in my weakness.
In line with my last post regarding using Psalms as a prayer:
Psalms 51: 10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
As Zach himself wrote in an earlier entry, the focus of this study is supposed to be Jesus, and nobody else. I have learned so much about who he is, what he's done, and will come to do. It used to do nothing but get me stoked; yet in these last two weeks of this school quarter, I just haven't been able to get excited about him, or anything else for that matter. This sermon clued me in on the probable cause.
I've only been "focusing" on Jesus in theory lately: really, I've just been absorbing words about him, and hoping awareness would take care of the rest, while I ignorantly used up my hoarded energy on other things. I thought God would just magically zap me with energy through some means if I ever felt short. This hasn't been the case with just this program; it's been with other sermons, growth groups, and even reading the Word. NT really hit it on the nose:
“The Bible is there to enable God’s people to be equipped to do God’s work in God’s world, not to give them an excuse to sit back smugly, knowing they possess all God’s truth.”
I've been like a runner who decides run a race, reads a book/watches a training video about how to prepare for one, but then doesn't bother to do the healthy amount of eating and exercising needed. There's been atrophy in my soul, and I'm finding it hard to turn focus my energy on what I need to do right now, which is having a deep desire for Him. It's a simple problem---my roots have withered and are in want of renewal. Watching my friends play with Jumbling Tower blocks (a Safeway version of Jenga, if you will) the other night, I was reminded that anything that is built up is doomed to crash if the foundation is thinned out or disappears all together. And when the spiritual structure collapses, everything else collapses: this past week alone, a few things I held very dearly crumbled in my hands.
I need to go back and make sure my Jumbling Tower is built on THE Rock.
Because what is a relationship without the passion? What worth is the work you put into it if doesn't ignite the fire between the two?
Maybe I need to stop doing "work" and go back to the basics I keep skipping over. Like being aware of the gift that is grace and what it does for me. That sometimes I just need to be still and let him work, whether I'm at a peak or at a valley. Allowing the Bible to do what it does: give "energy for the task to which God is calling his people!" That with 57 simple words, I can ask for all that is really needed, and he'll provide it through himself. Knowing the key to changing my heart, and dispelling all other desires from it, is not in books, sermons, or good practices: it is God and God alone who can change it. That he loves me and wants me with him---that's what it's all about. A simple formula:
G0d=The Greatest Love=All I Need
Abba, I've messed up, I've filled myself with nothing. Can you help me desire you and leave room for nothing else, so I can genuinely pursue you once again? Please, come glorify yourself in my weakness.
In line with my last post regarding using Psalms as a prayer:
Psalms 51: 10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Labor Pains; The Psalms As Prayer
The "Prayer" chapter in Simply Christian was a good reminder for me how important one's attitude and focus is when praying to God. For example, fussing over what words to use and thinking of possible earthly means God can answer my prayer are bad habits of mine; both are a sign that I've lost focused before the prayer has even begun. When I do things like that, I'm directing my prayer not to God but to a "slot machine God" Donald Miller describes in Blue Like Jazz: unfeeling, separated, and based on chance.......kind of like Deism/Option Two.
I forget many times that though I ask God to meet my needs through prayer, the focus should always be on him---the fact that he's not a indifferent machine, but a God who lives and feels, who loves me and wants what's best for me, merciful and powerful enough to answer what I ask for. That my prayer is not to be just a cry for help but a commitment to his Way. That if the commitment to abide is there, the answer will come naturally: less precious minutes spent in anxiety and more in trust and comfort. Then all the pain I currently feel will be forgotten, replaced by the good kind of pain---labor pains. You can't escape pain in this broken world, but the context in which it is inflicted matters. Of course---as NT says, where heaven and earth overlap, there's not just pain to be found, but great joy at sharing the glory the coming kingdom.
On a cool note, I found the different paths of prayer segment interesting. I was reminded of how I once read over a study of how to pray the Psalms as a way of heartfelt prayer. No wonder---Psalms covers every emotion and issues all we humans go through. Using Psalms as a prayer, I can:
Fight against shallowness so as to focus on God and my need for him ("Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy." 130:1-2).
Be honest about where I am with him and what I think, so I can surrender who I truly am ("I am like the deaf, who cannot hear, like the mute, who cannot speak; I have become like one who does not hear, whose mouth can offer no reply." 38:13-14).
Draw my heart to center on him so he may build me up ( "Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me". 51:10 )
Exalt in what he's done for me past, present, future, and extend to him the praise I so often forget to give in my prayers ("The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." 28:7)
And these are just the examples. Just go through the Psalms and see how much of it can apply to our daily prayer. It's the coolest gift ever---just like everything else he has taught us in the Word!
I forget many times that though I ask God to meet my needs through prayer, the focus should always be on him---the fact that he's not a indifferent machine, but a God who lives and feels, who loves me and wants what's best for me, merciful and powerful enough to answer what I ask for. That my prayer is not to be just a cry for help but a commitment to his Way. That if the commitment to abide is there, the answer will come naturally: less precious minutes spent in anxiety and more in trust and comfort. Then all the pain I currently feel will be forgotten, replaced by the good kind of pain---labor pains. You can't escape pain in this broken world, but the context in which it is inflicted matters. Of course---as NT says, where heaven and earth overlap, there's not just pain to be found, but great joy at sharing the glory the coming kingdom.
On a cool note, I found the different paths of prayer segment interesting. I was reminded of how I once read over a study of how to pray the Psalms as a way of heartfelt prayer. No wonder---Psalms covers every emotion and issues all we humans go through. Using Psalms as a prayer, I can:
Fight against shallowness so as to focus on God and my need for him ("Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy." 130:1-2).
Be honest about where I am with him and what I think, so I can surrender who I truly am ("I am like the deaf, who cannot hear, like the mute, who cannot speak; I have become like one who does not hear, whose mouth can offer no reply." 38:13-14).
Draw my heart to center on him so he may build me up ( "Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me". 51:10 )
Exalt in what he's done for me past, present, future, and extend to him the praise I so often forget to give in my prayers ("The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." 28:7)
And these are just the examples. Just go through the Psalms and see how much of it can apply to our daily prayer. It's the coolest gift ever---just like everything else he has taught us in the Word!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Reflection, Throwbacks
Hey everyone. It's been a while since I've blogged. I've been having a bad case of tunnel vision and complacency stifling me spiritually, so I've had to do catch up with the program the last couple of days.
It seemed only appropriate that Darrell's talk on the 8th commandment started with a reminder of how my impotence and failures make me unable to meet the demands of the law on my own, that I need outside help, the kind God made available through his gift of his Holy Spirit. I've been forgetting that a lot, neglecting to just ASK him to fill me with his presence. Kind of like putting off filling up the gas tank when it's near empty. In a double reference to NT Wright, I've gotten out of tune, not living by the Spirit.
This is because I have a bad habit of putting knowledge above anything else in importance, that once I've seen/heard/read something (like the materials for this program) about God, the knowledge/expanded mindset will somehow magically take care of the rest, make me change for the better. But knowing is no substitute for the Spirit and it's call for doing. Every idea I've come across in this Discipleship program is true and illustrates the beauty of who Jesus is and our relationship with him. But every one of these ideas is a piece of bark---it helps sustain the flame, but not by much. Only intimacy with him, brings the big logs in, which not only sustain the flame, but make it bigger and bigger...till we're on fire for him.
I was re-reading James today, and here's what I found in James 1:22-25 --- "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does."
So I can't just know, I must do---live in the Word, mind, body and soul. And following Jesus is something we can't do without his Spirit: as DJ says, it's our divine resource to live fully alive, and a seal of our forgiveness. Without it, we lose the means for anything else. We become blind to what our reflection in the mirror is supposed to be---a reflection of God and all of his glory.
In another throwback from last week, completely on our own, we fail---but where we do, God will never fail. His power of love is almighty and gives us what we need to be overcomers. His power shines over our failures. Beautiful, beautiful weakness and dependence is followed by beautiful, beautiful glory and intimacy.
So what am I doing not holding out my cup and plate? I need him to fill me if I want the juice to sustain anything else; 57 Words says the fourth layer of my daily bread is the resource of the Holy Spirit, that enables me to live in faith, spirit and love! Abba, I pray that I will not pray for any of my own foolish desires and my non-existing power, but for only my desire for your Spirit. It's suicide to try and fight against all these blazing arrows without armor: I need you and only you. May I cling only to you.
It seemed only appropriate that Darrell's talk on the 8th commandment started with a reminder of how my impotence and failures make me unable to meet the demands of the law on my own, that I need outside help, the kind God made available through his gift of his Holy Spirit. I've been forgetting that a lot, neglecting to just ASK him to fill me with his presence. Kind of like putting off filling up the gas tank when it's near empty. In a double reference to NT Wright, I've gotten out of tune, not living by the Spirit.
This is because I have a bad habit of putting knowledge above anything else in importance, that once I've seen/heard/read something (like the materials for this program) about God, the knowledge/expanded mindset will somehow magically take care of the rest, make me change for the better. But knowing is no substitute for the Spirit and it's call for doing. Every idea I've come across in this Discipleship program is true and illustrates the beauty of who Jesus is and our relationship with him. But every one of these ideas is a piece of bark---it helps sustain the flame, but not by much. Only intimacy with him, brings the big logs in, which not only sustain the flame, but make it bigger and bigger...till we're on fire for him.
I was re-reading James today, and here's what I found in James 1:22-25 --- "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does."
So I can't just know, I must do---live in the Word, mind, body and soul. And following Jesus is something we can't do without his Spirit: as DJ says, it's our divine resource to live fully alive, and a seal of our forgiveness. Without it, we lose the means for anything else. We become blind to what our reflection in the mirror is supposed to be---a reflection of God and all of his glory.
In another throwback from last week, completely on our own, we fail---but where we do, God will never fail. His power of love is almighty and gives us what we need to be overcomers. His power shines over our failures. Beautiful, beautiful weakness and dependence is followed by beautiful, beautiful glory and intimacy.
So what am I doing not holding out my cup and plate? I need him to fill me if I want the juice to sustain anything else; 57 Words says the fourth layer of my daily bread is the resource of the Holy Spirit, that enables me to live in faith, spirit and love! Abba, I pray that I will not pray for any of my own foolish desires and my non-existing power, but for only my desire for your Spirit. It's suicide to try and fight against all these blazing arrows without armor: I need you and only you. May I cling only to you.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Basics Of Sexuality
Sexual desire is a symptom of our desire for God.
Dang. Darrell's take really did make me think about what it means to be struggling with and falling to lustful desires. The way DJ puts it, "If I am having trouble with lust, it means I am not enjoying God and have not enjoyed him in a long time". All those times when I struggle, it's because I'm lonely. I've wandered away from God, and in the void it's yet another idol I put in his place. I've had troubles with lust more than a few times in my life, and while I can offer no excuses for any single time, it was at its worst when I pretty much tried to put God out of my life during freshman year. It was no coincidence...it really was a constant feeling of emptiness. And I wanted fulfillment. Just as love is patient, lust is impatient, seeking a short term, fast solution that never endures. It was like drinking sea water, really...if you're stuck on a boat and haven't had fresh water for long enough, you get desperate and drink the closest thing available, even if it only hastens death.
I want to perhaps reshape the domino theory put forward by the doctor later in the sermon. Sure, in his theory, it starts off with lustful stimulation of some kind....but if I'm getting into stuff that's putting me at risk with lustful stimulation, it means I'm not fleeing morality as I should. What's not causing me to not flee morality? Because I am seeking comfort in something other in God. Why am I doing so? Because I have chosen to not enjoy God for a long time, and have mistaken my need for fulfillment in him for fulfillment in something else: I have forgotten the source.
Psalms 34:8 "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him" It's taken on yet another dimension of meaning for me now that I've heard this sermon. No fulfillment of any other desire can possibly satisfy me the same way, especially if it's but a symbol of a greater need. It was only after I realized this that I had any hope of getting better. I'm still in the process of doing so.
It makes sense why God would want us to date and then eventually marry someone who is running the same path towards God and with whom you can mutually better nurture a relationship with Him. If sexual desire is the symptom of a longing for God, then there's no better occasion to express it than through constant consummation of a marriage, the holy union God has willed! If done right, sex within marriage becomes another means of coming closer to God!
God has given a GREAT deal; one that society of today tries to stifle and warp. But as always, if we keep our eyes on finishing the race, on the prize that is eternal relationship with God, the hardship of keeping discipline only turns into good.
Lust is not patient. Lust is not kind
Lust is jealous, boastful, proud, rude, and selfish,
easily angered and keeps a record of wrongs.
Lust gloats over other people's sins and does not rejoice in the truth.
Lust bears little, never trusts, never hopes, never endures.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Dang. Darrell's take really did make me think about what it means to be struggling with and falling to lustful desires. The way DJ puts it, "If I am having trouble with lust, it means I am not enjoying God and have not enjoyed him in a long time". All those times when I struggle, it's because I'm lonely. I've wandered away from God, and in the void it's yet another idol I put in his place. I've had troubles with lust more than a few times in my life, and while I can offer no excuses for any single time, it was at its worst when I pretty much tried to put God out of my life during freshman year. It was no coincidence...it really was a constant feeling of emptiness. And I wanted fulfillment. Just as love is patient, lust is impatient, seeking a short term, fast solution that never endures. It was like drinking sea water, really...if you're stuck on a boat and haven't had fresh water for long enough, you get desperate and drink the closest thing available, even if it only hastens death.
I want to perhaps reshape the domino theory put forward by the doctor later in the sermon. Sure, in his theory, it starts off with lustful stimulation of some kind....but if I'm getting into stuff that's putting me at risk with lustful stimulation, it means I'm not fleeing morality as I should. What's not causing me to not flee morality? Because I am seeking comfort in something other in God. Why am I doing so? Because I have chosen to not enjoy God for a long time, and have mistaken my need for fulfillment in him for fulfillment in something else: I have forgotten the source.
Psalms 34:8 "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him" It's taken on yet another dimension of meaning for me now that I've heard this sermon. No fulfillment of any other desire can possibly satisfy me the same way, especially if it's but a symbol of a greater need. It was only after I realized this that I had any hope of getting better. I'm still in the process of doing so.
It makes sense why God would want us to date and then eventually marry someone who is running the same path towards God and with whom you can mutually better nurture a relationship with Him. If sexual desire is the symptom of a longing for God, then there's no better occasion to express it than through constant consummation of a marriage, the holy union God has willed! If done right, sex within marriage becomes another means of coming closer to God!
God has given a GREAT deal; one that society of today tries to stifle and warp. But as always, if we keep our eyes on finishing the race, on the prize that is eternal relationship with God, the hardship of keeping discipline only turns into good.
Lust is not patient. Lust is not kind
Lust is jealous, boastful, proud, rude, and selfish,
easily angered and keeps a record of wrongs.
Lust gloats over other people's sins and does not rejoice in the truth.
Lust bears little, never trusts, never hopes, never endures.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Day 41: Psychological Splinter
The introduction of not thinking about chocolate totally caught my eye; it’s a fact every psychology major is taught over and over. It’s called the Ironic Process Theory. Fun fact for the day.
The reading’s mention of the two extremes, spiritual pride/immaturity and self-hatred, put an image in my head of two guys in a beautiful, lush forest, nature brimming with God’s energy. One guy has a large splinter in him, and he berates himself for being so weak that he let it get into him in the first place. He beats up on himself, and the impacts of his blows just drive the splinter in more deeply. And another guy stands close by wagging his finger at him; this guy, however, has cut down every tree within a mile of him and has enclosed himself in a sterile bubble.
I’m the guy with the splinter quite often. My first instinctual thoughts and actions when I struggle with temptation usually makes things worse. The root of it is---I’m afraid: digging out a huge splinter is a long and painful process, and it means I need to admit I need help to actually change anything. But the splinter is rooted deep into who I am; any method I try to get it out will probably maim me more. =
But like NT says, God’s love will never fail where I do. If I let go of the fear and pride, he WILL reach into me and take the splinter out, because he’s ALREADY DEFEATED IT. The chapter really made me remember just how often and how badly we need him to figure out anything about ourselves and what's best for us. God---thank you for being the Way.
It’s what the song “Search Me Out” by Ivoryline is all about.
I need you to show me how / you would do this for me / Search me in, search me out / tell me everything / Lead the way, keep restraint / put to bed this sinning / Come on down / and show me how / you would do this for me / The greater you know yourself / the more darkness you’ve missed / you still find a trace of hell /
Get it out get it out / Get it out right now / While you still can / While you still can / I will, I will / trust only Your hand / to get it out. Get it out / out right now. / while you still can. /
I can’t write when I’m worried / these things inside of me / I can’t hear when I’m hurried / these things are not me / I can’t pray when I’m proud / I need you to speak so loudly in me / Keep cutting / cut out what’s left of me / that I’m holding / cause it’s still got a hold on me
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Day 38: Renew My Mind
While I was reading "The Mind Renewed" and the healing of Namaan, this worship song just kept ringing through my mind:
So give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh God let this be
a generation that seeks
Who seeks Your face, Oh God of Jacob
A relationship with God is always moving. I can only keep moving forward or taking steps back. I'll always either be letting him fill me or blocking and draining him out. Which will I choose to do in every waking hour? Sadly, not always the former.
One thing I can be sure of is that while I live this life on this Earth, compromise will hound my relationship with Jesus, and will bite me from time to time. Reality bites. Good news is, like NT writes, God can and will pardon me. If I recognize that and pray for it from my heart again and again, he will help me back up and then REMOVE the compromises bit by bit. A constant renewal of the mind: he's constantly cleaning my hands and purifying my heart as he sets up Ben's Mind from 1.0 to 2.0 to 3.0 and so forth, as long as I keep asking him to! Amazing.
Lord, let me not be satisfied with being half-full, and may I never reject your renewal. Overflow me.
So give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh give us clean hands
and give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Oh God let this be
a generation that seeks
Who seeks Your face, Oh God of Jacob
A relationship with God is always moving. I can only keep moving forward or taking steps back. I'll always either be letting him fill me or blocking and draining him out. Which will I choose to do in every waking hour? Sadly, not always the former.
One thing I can be sure of is that while I live this life on this Earth, compromise will hound my relationship with Jesus, and will bite me from time to time. Reality bites. Good news is, like NT writes, God can and will pardon me. If I recognize that and pray for it from my heart again and again, he will help me back up and then REMOVE the compromises bit by bit. A constant renewal of the mind: he's constantly cleaning my hands and purifying my heart as he sets up Ben's Mind from 1.0 to 2.0 to 3.0 and so forth, as long as I keep asking him to! Amazing.
Lord, let me not be satisfied with being half-full, and may I never reject your renewal. Overflow me.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Day 37: A Healthy Diet of Sabbath
God couldn't have picked a better time to have me listen to DJ speak about what it means to keep the Sabbath. Going into the three day weekend, I was thinking "Awesome! A time to rest and renew!" Really didn't pan out that way: most of the time, I was working, turning pleasure into work, or not doing anything, yet not resting. Restless. How the heck did this happen?
This morning's sermon got me with the program. I really do idolize works: I realize I don't feel like I can be at peace unless I get everything I feel needs to be done done, be it school work, doing administrative work for Rock Show, hanging out with this person or that, or even reading supposedly for pleasure etc, etc, etc. A lot of the time I don't even think about using the time to seek God further. I even neglect doing essential things like eating or sleeping enough, which pretty much makes for a bad cycle. Nowhere in there did I just sit back and say "God's got this". This sermon had it right. I can easily say "It's in God's hands, I trust him" about stuff far away in the future, but have a really hard time with DOING the same about PRESENT activities. I'm trying to go with my own rhythm (aka plow on until everything's done), since I won't trust any other kind; but doing so will physically and spiritually kill me.
I probably should put a good amount of attention on the practice of CHANGE. I'm totally over committing by trying to wedge the "me's" in between God's will of having me rest---no trust, no freedom. SEEK probably comes a close second---I really do need to remember that it's not all about rest: it's no wonder I'm having trouble if I'm not focusing on the whole point of what the Sabbath's about!
Pearl was kind enough to share a point from your guys' Revelation study, about how "Things are not as they seem"---how the things we don't easily see can be in both triumphant and subordinate ways: Jesus has already conquered the evil forces (cue cheers), AND we can't do it without God (er...). Neglecting the Sabbath's no small thing...it's a symptom of a bigger problem. Can't not obey the 4th without not obeying the 1st.
Yep...in the life of a college kid, it's easy to fall into having a bad diet of sorts---and it doesn't end at food or drink. Having reliance on God can end up on the backburner while one dashes to clean up one clutter in corner of life and then the next. Pretty soon, we end up overweight on our own material gluttony or drained to the bone in weakness and despair. We need that weekly 6+1----the day of rest, devoted to the Father. God wants us healthy in every aspect, and I guess this commandment is an essential part of his meal plan.
To end on the positive, the concept that God has something extra saved for us that we can experience only through the Sabbath is entirely new to me. I love it...I love it whenever I have a realization about just how good a divine romance is. The more I learn, the easier it gets for me to say with a zeal "deep is the Father's love for us"!
This morning's sermon got me with the program. I really do idolize works: I realize I don't feel like I can be at peace unless I get everything I feel needs to be done done, be it school work, doing administrative work for Rock Show, hanging out with this person or that, or even reading supposedly for pleasure etc, etc, etc. A lot of the time I don't even think about using the time to seek God further. I even neglect doing essential things like eating or sleeping enough, which pretty much makes for a bad cycle. Nowhere in there did I just sit back and say "God's got this". This sermon had it right. I can easily say "It's in God's hands, I trust him" about stuff far away in the future, but have a really hard time with DOING the same about PRESENT activities. I'm trying to go with my own rhythm (aka plow on until everything's done), since I won't trust any other kind; but doing so will physically and spiritually kill me.
I probably should put a good amount of attention on the practice of CHANGE. I'm totally over committing by trying to wedge the "me's" in between God's will of having me rest---no trust, no freedom. SEEK probably comes a close second---I really do need to remember that it's not all about rest: it's no wonder I'm having trouble if I'm not focusing on the whole point of what the Sabbath's about!
Pearl was kind enough to share a point from your guys' Revelation study, about how "Things are not as they seem"---how the things we don't easily see can be in both triumphant and subordinate ways: Jesus has already conquered the evil forces (cue cheers), AND we can't do it without God (er...). Neglecting the Sabbath's no small thing...it's a symptom of a bigger problem. Can't not obey the 4th without not obeying the 1st.
Yep...in the life of a college kid, it's easy to fall into having a bad diet of sorts---and it doesn't end at food or drink. Having reliance on God can end up on the backburner while one dashes to clean up one clutter in corner of life and then the next. Pretty soon, we end up overweight on our own material gluttony or drained to the bone in weakness and despair. We need that weekly 6+1----the day of rest, devoted to the Father. God wants us healthy in every aspect, and I guess this commandment is an essential part of his meal plan.
To end on the positive, the concept that God has something extra saved for us that we can experience only through the Sabbath is entirely new to me. I love it...I love it whenever I have a realization about just how good a divine romance is. The more I learn, the easier it gets for me to say with a zeal "deep is the Father's love for us"!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Taking Joy In A Beating
Read through "The God Who Raises the Dead" and it made me think back to Darrell's sermon on the 1st commandment---how he calls us to ask ourselves tough questions---what gives us security and hope? What do we fear? The potential God substitutes we make for ourselves arise have their origins in the answers to those questions, DJ says. It's true---fear, fear of the loss of just about anything, haunts me at every step, and tries to rule every decision; heck, like NT says, I can't shed even told to. Why? The reading made me realize just how irrational every fear I have really is---God himself telling me not to be afraid, and I'm still worried about how that last test went? God, who created all that's around me, who's conquered death itself, who's freed ME from eternal death?
God's made his offer of freedom: and every day, I struggle with even remembering that it's there. Lord willing, I pray that faith will win out and allow me to take it. Take it and let it soak through and permeate the rest of my thinking, feeling, and worrying life.
It makes me think of Peter and the other Apostles when they are persecuted by the Sanhedrin. They are threatened with death and beaten, but they don't show fear; rather, they rejoice in the suffering! The Apostles know that whatever scary stuff comes their way, it's all subjugated by the power of God, who loves them and will not give them away to evil forces; he's already established as the one who raises the dead---"we can trust him with every lesser task that comes our way."
Indeed---trusting so that I may truly believe and be free. Makes me think:
"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15
God's made his offer of freedom: and every day, I struggle with even remembering that it's there. Lord willing, I pray that faith will win out and allow me to take it. Take it and let it soak through and permeate the rest of my thinking, feeling, and worrying life.
It makes me think of Peter and the other Apostles when they are persecuted by the Sanhedrin. They are threatened with death and beaten, but they don't show fear; rather, they rejoice in the suffering! The Apostles know that whatever scary stuff comes their way, it's all subjugated by the power of God, who loves them and will not give them away to evil forces; he's already established as the one who raises the dead---"we can trust him with every lesser task that comes our way."
Indeed---trusting so that I may truly believe and be free. Makes me think:
"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15
Saturday, February 12, 2011
In Paper Seas We Sail; The Social Letdown,
Wow. If the debt I owed God manifested itself in credit reports, I'd be continually drowning in a sea of paper, made larger by every action or thought of disobedience. And when I kneel and boldly ask for what I know I do not deserve, he lovingly takes it all, tears and burns it up, and tells me "I've got this covered. You are forgiven, Ben."
"The boldest prayer we can pray is answered because the one who teaches us to pray pays the debt himself---all of it. Whatever it is we owe, Jesus Christ has paid it all." He's got our poor selves covered, and wants us to know, accept, and live in this awesome grace. What a divine thing!
One of the growth groups I attend is currently studying James, and this last week, we got to Chapter 2, the beginning section of which James warns against favoritism within the church; it really made me think about what 57 Words had to say about forgiving others. It's true, we have a bad habit of expecting him to "forgive us our debts" and completely forgetting the "forgiving our debtors" part. It's way easier to think of extreme examples, but the smaller lapses in forgiveness are just as damaging as any---especially if you bring "forgiveness favoritism" into the mix of one's own fellowship/church. I do admit sometimes I'm more quick to forgive or let go even the most major of slip ups by good friends, while setting higher bars of expectancy for those I'm less attached to, being impatient and frustrated with them for way smaller things. The danger is clear and present---I can't truly ask God for forgiveness if I'm daring to say to him "Here, God, me, and these people over here can stand before you on the basis of the cross like me, but not those people, who need to pay up for forgetting to do this one thing for that one task." It's a real danger that I think I've felt, but not been aware of, till recently.
So God, forgive me for this debt, that I dared to try and jam my favoritism into your plan.
And if my heart is truly in it, his answer will be the same: "I've got this covered. You are forgiven, Ben."
Speaking of which, after DJ's sermon, I'm pretty I know what my main stumbling block is: social life. Time and time again, I've take this beautiful creation of God (community) and allowed it to become the wall between him and I. If my past rocky relationship with God were told as a story, my concern for a secure social life/fear of loneliness would be the antagonist. Looking back on it now, I understand now how all those times where my social life crumbled, when circles of friends disintegrated, youth groups split, and friendships withered, it was merely God striking the enemy down, removing the idol, and saving me from myself (I need to stop with the Jon Foreman references).
And boy, did he save my bacon---every single time the wall was up, I was breaking and compromising everything I supposedly was living for, just for the sake of sating my insecurities. But they WERE letting me down, my thirst for loving and being loved never sated; how twisted is that? DJ called me right out: As early as junior high,I kept looking at God through these lens: "God, you are great, and I'll love and obey you, as long as you make sure the I have friends actually caring about me". I would have only continued to put me down further had God's loving intervention not occurred every single time.
Just as Davy had to go, God had to take away a few things so I could refocus who should really be centered; and he'll keep protecting me with his jealous love as long as I live...the next time I choose not be diligent about work or neglect my rest solely for the sake of other people, he'll be there to sweep away that which can't deliver, and give me the means to renew my heart. Awesome!!! That's how he's gotten me to this point in life; heck, a similar wall was plaguing me a few months ago when I realized changes were needed, and LOOK where he's lead me now! Praise him, and may I celebrate every time he removes the drug I create.
"The boldest prayer we can pray is answered because the one who teaches us to pray pays the debt himself---all of it. Whatever it is we owe, Jesus Christ has paid it all." He's got our poor selves covered, and wants us to know, accept, and live in this awesome grace. What a divine thing!
One of the growth groups I attend is currently studying James, and this last week, we got to Chapter 2, the beginning section of which James warns against favoritism within the church; it really made me think about what 57 Words had to say about forgiving others. It's true, we have a bad habit of expecting him to "forgive us our debts" and completely forgetting the "forgiving our debtors" part. It's way easier to think of extreme examples, but the smaller lapses in forgiveness are just as damaging as any---especially if you bring "forgiveness favoritism" into the mix of one's own fellowship/church. I do admit sometimes I'm more quick to forgive or let go even the most major of slip ups by good friends, while setting higher bars of expectancy for those I'm less attached to, being impatient and frustrated with them for way smaller things. The danger is clear and present---I can't truly ask God for forgiveness if I'm daring to say to him "Here, God, me, and these people over here can stand before you on the basis of the cross like me, but not those people, who need to pay up for forgetting to do this one thing for that one task." It's a real danger that I think I've felt, but not been aware of, till recently.
So God, forgive me for this debt, that I dared to try and jam my favoritism into your plan.
And if my heart is truly in it, his answer will be the same: "I've got this covered. You are forgiven, Ben."
Speaking of which, after DJ's sermon, I'm pretty I know what my main stumbling block is: social life. Time and time again, I've take this beautiful creation of God (community) and allowed it to become the wall between him and I. If my past rocky relationship with God were told as a story, my concern for a secure social life/fear of loneliness would be the antagonist. Looking back on it now, I understand now how all those times where my social life crumbled, when circles of friends disintegrated, youth groups split, and friendships withered, it was merely God striking the enemy down, removing the idol, and saving me from myself (I need to stop with the Jon Foreman references).
And boy, did he save my bacon---every single time the wall was up, I was breaking and compromising everything I supposedly was living for, just for the sake of sating my insecurities. But they WERE letting me down, my thirst for loving and being loved never sated; how twisted is that? DJ called me right out: As early as junior high,I kept looking at God through these lens: "God, you are great, and I'll love and obey you, as long as you make sure the I have friends actually caring about me". I would have only continued to put me down further had God's loving intervention not occurred every single time.
Just as Davy had to go, God had to take away a few things so I could refocus who should really be centered; and he'll keep protecting me with his jealous love as long as I live...the next time I choose not be diligent about work or neglect my rest solely for the sake of other people, he'll be there to sweep away that which can't deliver, and give me the means to renew my heart. Awesome!!! That's how he's gotten me to this point in life; heck, a similar wall was plaguing me a few months ago when I realized changes were needed, and LOOK where he's lead me now! Praise him, and may I celebrate every time he removes the drug I create.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Hi Everyone. Me+This Program So Far: Abridged
Hey guys!
For those who have no idea who this is, I'm Ben, a friend of Pearl, Zach, Mike, Alyssa and a few other Davisites you may know. I've been doing this Discipleship program throughout this Winter Quarter after hearing about how awesome it was, and I gotta say, it's been really helping me nurture my romance with God. Many new perspectives that I would never have thought of (thanks much, DJ and NT!), that had me realizing how loved I am by Him, who He is, and what it means to be in a relationship with him.
Earlier this year, I came to the realization that I've been keeping God in the back of my mind for much of my college life, only turning to him in desperation or for convenience: making him a Nanny God, if you will. And like the spoiled toddler, I never stopped to think and acknowledge that it is only because of Him, his greatest sacrifice, that I'm alive and breathing, physically and spiritually, and have purpose. I only have worth because he put it in me through his blood, emptied himself and became doulos as a means of expressing his Divinity. I didn't want to be the toddler anymore...I wanted to be a Child of God and acknowledge him to be kurios. I wanted to acknowledge the existing manifestation of his kingdom on Earth and participate in the kairos till the time of the complete unveiling. Thanks to a good conversation with Zach Evans over winter break, this stuff is now helping me learn more and more about Father, Son, and his spirit. Abba is having a party in my head as he continually moves to renew and baptize my mind (Jon Foreman song, anyone?).
While one post won't be enough to cover 26 days, there are a few thoughts that definitely stick out (you guys have already picked out the bits I've already thrown out there). Those that aren't on this post may spawn as comments on posts here and there.
Prayer has been a neglected area of my life: 57 Words has helped me realize the Swiss army knife of all Swiss army knives for all desires and needs, the Lord's Prayer, has been right there all along. Amazing that with this little collection of words, all is encompassed: one of the best gifts ever, the needs of the Christian life embodied!
It's so awesome that he puts both the "you" and "us" in the prayer: he CARES about our requests. "We can, therefore, dare to hope that when we pray something happens." Yet the way he's set up the prayer makes sure that our agendas are put in the proper perspective, to make sure I know what he's prescribed completely fulfills my needs in a way my self-medication never could! If we come to him the way he's meant us to, he has absolutely EVERYTHING covered! So do it God, your agenda be done forevermore.
I can think of so many points this last year alone where I wanted my will to be done but God simply said "I've got something else in mind" and turned my view on a situation upside down with the results of his own will. Looking back, I never once saw that the situation would have been better had it been my way---I actually saw how bad things could have turned out, that I would have thought my head had not been there at all. Recapitulation indeed!---Jesus truly is puting my head back on hour to hour, and every time I allow sin to cut it back off, he never relents, and never fails to attach it back. I imagine taking this figure of speech literally may be a bit gross, but think of how it would feel to truly lose your head, only to have sweet life coming rushing back to you through the loving will of the Father? I could think of no greater pleasure---and that's what's to come of following his will on TOP of being part of the grandest purpose in existence? Wow.
I heard Shane Claiborne speak last Wednesday, and at one point referenced how God gave the Israelites manna to eat on a daily basis while in the wilderness, but made sure they only took enough for them to eat on that one day. Yes, this illustrates how we're supposed to have a daily dependence on God...but listening about the larger issues of poverty that Shane talked about, I realized that this idea goes so much more beyond the bond of an individual and God. What if I were to say daily dependence on God is how the world was designed to work, that everyone put their trust in God for their needs, took only what they needed to get through the day, and gave all the rest to those who had come up short? That we'd all be content with praying for God to give us our daily bread (ALL six layers) and living as God's family in solidarity and gratitude? The world would be so much better if we could all be that way....but we can't, because the world is broken at the moment, spun away from his original design while greed beats need. But that's the beauty of it, right? That it's just another power that's actually already been defeated and will eventually be swept away completely by the new kingdom.
The cross=the victory, God wins with biggest contradiction ever. I'm living in the world that's been won. I deserve to be beaten and left in chains, but Jesus's crucified body forged the key that set me free: he has made me and bought me. I can run as long as I keep my eyes on the throne of grace, the one who sits upon it, my soul anchored to hope and given away to him, anticipating the great joy to come at the end. With all these things in mind, how can one not wake up every day and say "God, you are awesome, and today's going to a great day, your glory in everything!" I've said to a couple of Davis-ites that I feel like God's got me in continual spiritual optimism: I guess that's what NT Wright calls thanksliving.
Abba, you are good. Reign in us.
Hopefully as I focus on one reading at a time from now on, my posts won't be as long.
For those who have no idea who this is, I'm Ben, a friend of Pearl, Zach, Mike, Alyssa and a few other Davisites you may know. I've been doing this Discipleship program throughout this Winter Quarter after hearing about how awesome it was, and I gotta say, it's been really helping me nurture my romance with God. Many new perspectives that I would never have thought of (thanks much, DJ and NT!), that had me realizing how loved I am by Him, who He is, and what it means to be in a relationship with him.
Earlier this year, I came to the realization that I've been keeping God in the back of my mind for much of my college life, only turning to him in desperation or for convenience: making him a Nanny God, if you will. And like the spoiled toddler, I never stopped to think and acknowledge that it is only because of Him, his greatest sacrifice, that I'm alive and breathing, physically and spiritually, and have purpose. I only have worth because he put it in me through his blood, emptied himself and became doulos as a means of expressing his Divinity. I didn't want to be the toddler anymore...I wanted to be a Child of God and acknowledge him to be kurios. I wanted to acknowledge the existing manifestation of his kingdom on Earth and participate in the kairos till the time of the complete unveiling. Thanks to a good conversation with Zach Evans over winter break, this stuff is now helping me learn more and more about Father, Son, and his spirit. Abba is having a party in my head as he continually moves to renew and baptize my mind (Jon Foreman song, anyone?).
While one post won't be enough to cover 26 days, there are a few thoughts that definitely stick out (you guys have already picked out the bits I've already thrown out there). Those that aren't on this post may spawn as comments on posts here and there.
Prayer has been a neglected area of my life: 57 Words has helped me realize the Swiss army knife of all Swiss army knives for all desires and needs, the Lord's Prayer, has been right there all along. Amazing that with this little collection of words, all is encompassed: one of the best gifts ever, the needs of the Christian life embodied!
It's so awesome that he puts both the "you" and "us" in the prayer: he CARES about our requests. "We can, therefore, dare to hope that when we pray something happens." Yet the way he's set up the prayer makes sure that our agendas are put in the proper perspective, to make sure I know what he's prescribed completely fulfills my needs in a way my self-medication never could! If we come to him the way he's meant us to, he has absolutely EVERYTHING covered! So do it God, your agenda be done forevermore.
I can think of so many points this last year alone where I wanted my will to be done but God simply said "I've got something else in mind" and turned my view on a situation upside down with the results of his own will. Looking back, I never once saw that the situation would have been better had it been my way---I actually saw how bad things could have turned out, that I would have thought my head had not been there at all. Recapitulation indeed!---Jesus truly is puting my head back on hour to hour, and every time I allow sin to cut it back off, he never relents, and never fails to attach it back. I imagine taking this figure of speech literally may be a bit gross, but think of how it would feel to truly lose your head, only to have sweet life coming rushing back to you through the loving will of the Father? I could think of no greater pleasure---and that's what's to come of following his will on TOP of being part of the grandest purpose in existence? Wow.
I heard Shane Claiborne speak last Wednesday, and at one point referenced how God gave the Israelites manna to eat on a daily basis while in the wilderness, but made sure they only took enough for them to eat on that one day. Yes, this illustrates how we're supposed to have a daily dependence on God...but listening about the larger issues of poverty that Shane talked about, I realized that this idea goes so much more beyond the bond of an individual and God. What if I were to say daily dependence on God is how the world was designed to work, that everyone put their trust in God for their needs, took only what they needed to get through the day, and gave all the rest to those who had come up short? That we'd all be content with praying for God to give us our daily bread (ALL six layers) and living as God's family in solidarity and gratitude? The world would be so much better if we could all be that way....but we can't, because the world is broken at the moment, spun away from his original design while greed beats need. But that's the beauty of it, right? That it's just another power that's actually already been defeated and will eventually be swept away completely by the new kingdom.
The cross=the victory, God wins with biggest contradiction ever. I'm living in the world that's been won. I deserve to be beaten and left in chains, but Jesus's crucified body forged the key that set me free: he has made me and bought me. I can run as long as I keep my eyes on the throne of grace, the one who sits upon it, my soul anchored to hope and given away to him, anticipating the great joy to come at the end. With all these things in mind, how can one not wake up every day and say "God, you are awesome, and today's going to a great day, your glory in everything!" I've said to a couple of Davis-ites that I feel like God's got me in continual spiritual optimism: I guess that's what NT Wright calls thanksliving.
Abba, you are good. Reign in us.
Hopefully as I focus on one reading at a time from now on, my posts won't be as long.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
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