The introduction of not thinking about chocolate totally caught my eye; it’s a fact every psychology major is taught over and over. It’s called the Ironic Process Theory. Fun fact for the day.
The reading’s mention of the two extremes, spiritual pride/immaturity and self-hatred, put an image in my head of two guys in a beautiful, lush forest, nature brimming with God’s energy. One guy has a large splinter in him, and he berates himself for being so weak that he let it get into him in the first place. He beats up on himself, and the impacts of his blows just drive the splinter in more deeply. And another guy stands close by wagging his finger at him; this guy, however, has cut down every tree within a mile of him and has enclosed himself in a sterile bubble.
I’m the guy with the splinter quite often. My first instinctual thoughts and actions when I struggle with temptation usually makes things worse. The root of it is---I’m afraid: digging out a huge splinter is a long and painful process, and it means I need to admit I need help to actually change anything. But the splinter is rooted deep into who I am; any method I try to get it out will probably maim me more. =
But like NT says, God’s love will never fail where I do. If I let go of the fear and pride, he WILL reach into me and take the splinter out, because he’s ALREADY DEFEATED IT. The chapter really made me remember just how often and how badly we need him to figure out anything about ourselves and what's best for us. God---thank you for being the Way.
It’s what the song “Search Me Out” by Ivoryline is all about.
I need you to show me how / you would do this for me / Search me in, search me out / tell me everything / Lead the way, keep restraint / put to bed this sinning / Come on down / and show me how / you would do this for me / The greater you know yourself / the more darkness you’ve missed / you still find a trace of hell /
Get it out get it out / Get it out right now / While you still can / While you still can / I will, I will / trust only Your hand / to get it out. Get it out / out right now. / while you still can. /
I can’t write when I’m worried / these things inside of me / I can’t hear when I’m hurried / these things are not me / I can’t pray when I’m proud / I need you to speak so loudly in me / Keep cutting / cut out what’s left of me / that I’m holding / cause it’s still got a hold on me
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